Thesis: Personal Reflection
In preparing this paper, I have ridden a roller coaster of conviction and excitement. I sense God drawing me closer to him as I cry out for more of him in my life. The statistics concerning the church and especially pastors are heartbreaking. I want to do something about the colleagues that the statistics represent. What I realize, however, is before I can lead others, I first have to lead myself.
Another frustration I encountered when doing research was the shortage of materials. There is much written about the Holy Spirit, and there is much written about organizational principles and models; I was unable to find books that combined the two. I wanted a modern picture of what a pastor and church full of the Holy Spirit looks like. My biggest disappointment came from a couple of books printed by the Assemblies of God, books specifically written for ministry students regarding pastoral ministry. I assumed that since the Assemblies of God is a Pentecostal denomination, I could find books about pastoring as a Pentecostal. Instead, I found books about pastoral ministry with a chapter or two at the end about the gifts and work of the Holy Spirit. There was no real connection made between the two. I see the need, and I want to be able to write the book myself. However, before I can lead others, I first have to lead myself. If I truly want to experience all that God has for me, I know what I must do: Lord, teach me to pray.