My Ramblings

In the early 1500's the Catholic Church was wrought with problems, fighting and arguments within, and attacks from the Protestants and the Turks without. Reginald Pole was a brave cardinal in the Roman Catholic Church during these tumultuous times. In the midst of this turmoil, he stood up and gave an amazing address to the Council of Trent Jan. 7, 1546. Instead of blaming society, the heretics or anyone else, Pole insisted, 'The shepherds should make ourselves responsible for all the evils, not in generosity but in justice; because the truth is that of these evils we are in great part the cause…Herein no good is served by a long inquiry as to who are the causes of these evils, seeing that we cannot even name any other causes but ourselves! …It will be found that our ambition, our greed, our cupidity have wrought all these evils on the people of God.' The Christian church in America is in trouble. Instead of pointing fingers and placing blame, I choose to take responsibili...

    In preparing this paper, I have ridden a roller coaster of conviction and excitement. I sense God drawing me closer to him as I cry out for more of him in my life. The statistics concerning the church and especially pastors are heartbreaking. I want to do something about the colleagues that the statistics represent. What I realize, however, is before I can lead others, I first have to lead myself.     Another frustration I encountered when doing research was the shortage of materials. There is much written about the Holy Spirit, and there is much written about organizational principles and models; I was unable to find books that combined the two. I wanted a modern picture of what a pastor and church full of the Holy Spirit looks like. My biggest disappointment came from a couple of books printed by the Assemblies of God, books specifically written for ministry students regarding pastoral ministry. I assumed that since the Assemblies of God is a Pentecostal denomination, I c...

The Intersection of the Holy Spirit and the Life of the Pastor In the lives of many pastors, there is a lack of connection with the Holy Spirit. This lack of spiritual power is reflected in the degenerating condition of the church in America. This paper will combine biblical research from the life of King Saul with research on business and church growth. The research reveals that this problem of spiritual impotence is easily remedied through an intimate relationship with Christ. Another major finding is the lack of available materials on the working of the Holy Spirit through the organization and structures used in pastoral ministry. This is the abstract for my Masters Thesis. I turned it in today. As I was making final edits, it dawned on me that I am almost finished with both the thesis and the masters program. I almost started to cry. Of course, that may have something to do with the fact that I was up until 2 am the night before last and pulled an all-nighter...

Hey, dude. It is great hearing from you. We miss you guys around here, but are glad that things are looking up. The Scripture quoted in your email signature seems very appropriate for you at this moment in your life: 'Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.' (Hebrews. 11:1). I know that God has big plans for you and your wife, but until the "big" comes, keep making the most of every opportunity. We are still praying for you guys and for your wife's family; especially for her dad. We serve a good God who knows what is best. Sometimes we disagree with him about that. The things that are (or are not) happening are not for nothing. God uses all of it to accomplish his work both in us and through us. This is one of the most encouraging things I have learned from my masters program. In referring to all the past troubled times and bad job and ministry experiences, the older guys in class all agreed that God d...

At school, we are discussing Conflict Management and Change Management; how to lead through both conflict and change. Both pieces of that puzzle were a part of a meeting I lead recently. Last night was our monthly Leadership Meeting with the church Board and Ministry Leaders. Now, almost 15 hours since it ended and I am still processing my amazement with last night's meeting. To see our Leadership Team working through the process of change with each other was wondrous. God was definitely an influential part of what transpired. Team members were able to share their disagreements in an atmosphere of trust and encouragement. The meeting was not comfortable by any stretch of the imagination, but it was GOOD. We were exposed to leaders' passions for ministry and for the Lord. As a team we readjusted our ministry focus back to discipleship and more specifically to discipleship for children. I lead the meeting, but what took place could only come from the Lord....

I know that the Lord has been working on me. Often he uses circumstances and people to help form me. Lately, he has been doing the work himself and changing me from the inside out. I can't yet put into words my experiences. It has been almost overwhelming and at times disconcerting. Looking back over the last few weeks, I realize I can't go more than a couple of hours without being aware of God's strong presence around me or in me. I have now decided that I will choose not to be surprised or disturbed, but take the time to enjoy God's presence. Today I was reminded about the story from John 21 where Jesus is having breakfast with his disciples. With all the things that needed to be done and taught, Jesus chose to sit back and enjoy some time with his boys. If that is what God wants from me, I'm all for it.

Today started out tough. I was planning to spend all day in the library, so I got pretty early. From the moment I got up, I was pressed with issues that I am dealing with, most of which have to do with stuff at church. For about an hour I felt frustrated and fed up. I needed to get to the library, so do you know what I did? I finished my shower, sat on my bed, and spent some time with God. I spent over an hour with my God. It was not a 'good' hour. It was tough. I read my Bible, prayed, sang, complained, and listened, all without feeling better. Well, I did feel better, but only after about an hour. The Lord has been teaching me to spend time with him. He has been drawing me close and teaching me to listen. He has been teaching me patience. In the words of an acquaintance of mine, "Stop doing devotions and live devoted." All this is to say that I could have left for the library at any time without the much needed peace. For a change, I stayed and wor...

A week ago I had the chance to interview a servant-leader. The interview and a 7 page reflection paper was one of the assignments our cohort had. I had scheduled two different interviews, but one of my friends was on sabbatical and I decided not to bother him with work stuff. The interview I did was with my sectional presbyter. One of the purposes of the interview was to help us gain some insight into the area of self-leadership/self-care specifically related to avoiding burnout. The interview went well and I learned a lot. I ended the interview with a summary question about advice the interviewee might give to a young pastor desiring longevity in the ministry. The response was two-fold. First maintain a strong and intimate relationship with the Lord. Second, maintain a strong and intimate relationship with your wife. Communication is important! Talk about stuff. The biggest surprise of the day was my friend's response to a question regarding burnout. I hear stories of...

Over the past couple of weeks things have gotten better overall. There are still moments of feeling overwhelmed with many tasks to accomplish. I am realizing what my problem is. I am working so hard to take care of everything that I am neglecting the all important self-care. I struggle with feeling guilty about taking time to renew or refresh myself. My church needs me, my family needs me, God needs me, my community needs me, etc. Actually what they need is God in me. They need me to be strong, refreshed, and in-tune with God. I tell the same thing to new parents. It is easy for them to care so much for their new baby that they completely neglect themselves or each other. The best thing for the baby is to have healthy and happy parents. This is difficult early on as the baby doesn't sleep much. However, if the parents do not find a way to get some rest, they will soon find themselves unable to care for the baby. Who does that benefit? No one. The same is true for me....

Over the past couple of weeks things have gotten better overall. There are still moments of feeling overwhelmed with many tasks to accomplish. I am realizing what my problem is. I am working so hard to take care of everything that I am neglecting the all important self-care. I struggle with feeling guilty about taking time to renew or refresh myself. My church needs me, my family needs me, God needs me, my community needs me, etc. Actually what they need is God in me. They need me to be strong, refreshed, and in-tune with God. I tell the same thing to new parents. It is easy for them to care so much for their new baby that they completely neglect themselves or each other. The best thing for the baby is to have healthy and happy parents. This is difficult early on as the baby doesn't sleep much. However, if the parents do not find a way to get some rest, they will soon find themselves unable to care for the baby. Who does that benefit? No one. The same is...

Today seems especially tough for me. I have been physically ill the last couple of days. I have a million things that I need to do at church. I have a hundred things I need to do at home concerning our house, our cars, my children, my wife, etc. All of this seems to be building up over the last month and today is most difficult of all. I think the best way for me to articulate what is happening comes in two word pictures. First, my filter is missing. Everything I need to do seems URGENT. I feel like it all needs to be done right now. I know it's not all that urgent, but I can't shake that feeling. It is almost to the point of mental paralysis. Second, I am having a difficult (to say the least) time compartmentalizing. Usually, I can tuck stuff away and think about it later. Today I can't. It is all right there in front of me. I feel like I am being overloaded with no way to process all the information. Working on this blog is helping some. As I type this, my son is playing ...

What a week! Here I am at the airport again. This time I am in Tampa on my way back to MD. I just spent an amazing week in classes for the Masters Degree I am working on. All of our classes have been great and our professors even better. But, this week…. For as long as I can remember, I have had convictions about what it means to be Pentecostal and what that should look like. The problem is, outside of a church service, I have never seen it. So, like many, I tuck away the thoughts and live life like everyone else. This week I saw my thoughts lived out in front of me. Our professor operated in the Holy Spirit like no one I have ever known. I found joy this week seeing that living in the power of the Holy Spirit is possible. Even more so, I was challenged this week with what I need to do personally to live a truly Pentecostal life. Thank you, Lord!!!!! Now, help me to do what I know (and have known) I need to do. Look out world; God loves you and He wants to ...

Well, here I am sitting at the airport waiting on my flight. I just had an experience that surprised me. As I was walking by one of the News stores in the airport on my way to Arbys, I noticed that the current cover girl for Maxim is Hillary Duff. When I saw that, my heart sank. I started to cry. The Spirit moved on me to begin interceding for Ms. Duff and for all the teenage girls (and boys) who look up to her.; my six year old used to be a big Lizzy McGuire fan. It bothers me that our society not only allows such a turn of events, but seems to encourage, almost cause, it. I know there are much worse things Hillary could do than be on the cover (and most likely on the inside) of Maxim. Except for blaming the Holy Spirit, I can't explain why this incident had the effect it did. Somewhere deep inside this was another sign of what is going on in the world around me. Innocence seems to be lost and traded like so many stocks on Wall Street. I will continue to ...

My wife is out of town for a week and I am home with the kids. Before tonight, I hadn't shaved since last Sunday morning. I had a week's worth of itching, scratchy stubble on my face. My boys suggested I shave before mommy comes home on Tuesday; I did them one better, I shaved tonight, before church tomorrow. To be perfectly honest, I shaved all my facial hair except my goatee. Several years ago, I had a goatee, it was one of the prerequisites of being a youth pastor ; ). I had a goatee when our first son was born. I had a goatee when my wife discovered my addiction. I had a goatee as my wife and I both struggled to find our way through the mess I created. In the midst of that long process, I shaved my goatee. Somehow, that act came to have some symbolic significance to Moriah and me. It was symbolic of my making changes, of the Lord working in me. It was symbolic of my becoming a new man. Today, I have a goatee again, for a little while. Tomorrow, I will p...

This weekend we have a wedding at our church. As it is a large wedding, we are bringing many extra chairs into the sanctuary and overflow space. The groom, a couple of the men in his family, and the groomsmen helped to carry the chairs from the storage building yesterday before rehearsal. After the wedding rehearsal was over, I spent some time with God reflecting back on the day. I was thinking about moving the chairs and our need to move them back after Sunday. I am not sure how this will sound, but I will try to relate the lesson I learned. During our time together, the Lord began to speak to me about my purpose at the church. More than that, he began to show me how he wanted me to change from my idea of my purpose to His true purpose. He used the chairs as a parable to help me see what He wanted.     Let's suppose your duty for the day was to move all these chairs from the sanctuary back to the storage building. Oddly, all the church members are there to help. As this ...

For the last couple of days I have been down. There are some circumstances in my life that currently have my attention. I have begun to worry over them and they are starting to weigh on me. This morning I was praying/complaining to the Lord over them. I let him know that I couldn't fix this and I need his help. Of course, my words were more numerous and a little less refined. Later in the day, a friend of mine called to check in with me. When he asked me how things were going I decided to be real with him. I let him know how I was feeling. As my friend prayed for me he used a verse of scripture from the Holy Bible in his prayer. The Scripture he quoted was from Philippians chapter 4, verse 6. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." God used that prayer to let me know that he was there, that he knew what was going on and that he already had an answer for me. I just needed to go ahead an...

I am not a Jew, but I am fascinated with Jewish historical tradition, especially the parts recorded in the Torah and the Old Testament of the Christian Bible. According to those texts, the Children of Israel were in slavery in Egypt for four hundred years. At one point, Israel's God sent a messenger (Moses) to let them know that he had other plans for them. He promised them a place of safety, freedom from slavery, and much blessing. This land was called Canaan or "the promised land." In my inmost being, I know that there is more to this life. My life is good and my life is full, but I am not satisfied. There is still something more. I am looking for "the promised land." I am searching for Canaan.

A couple of months ago, I attended a motivational meeting where the speaker used the story of David and Goliath to inspire his audience. He provided several golfball-sized river rocks for each attendee. We were supposed to take one rock for each of the giants we were facing. I took seven of the rocks although I couldn't pinpoint more than a couple of giants that were impeding my progress. I figured I would take some time to really think about it and I should have enough rocks to cover it. As I spent that time thinking about what giants there might be in my life, I came to a great realization. I was focusing on external giants. What I came to realize is the greatest giants I need to overcome are internal ones. I can keep looking at and blaming outside forces, but it will do no good. I thought I had gotten over my fear of failure and my need to please people, but those old habits and thought patterns die hard. They are still the things that get in the way of my "success...