Struggle

Today seems especially tough for me. I have been physically ill the last couple of days. I have a million things that I need to do at church. I have a hundred things I need to do at home concerning our house, our cars, my children, my wife, etc. All of this seems to be building up over the last month and today is most difficult of all.

I think the best way for me to articulate what is happening comes in two word pictures. First, my filter is missing. Everything I need to do seems URGENT. I feel like it all needs to be done right now. I know it's not all that urgent, but I can't shake that feeling. It is almost to the point of mental paralysis. Second, I am having a difficult (to say the least) time compartmentalizing. Usually, I can tuck stuff away and think about it later. Today I can't. It is all right there in front of me. I feel like I am being overloaded with no way to process all the information.

Working on this blog is helping some. As I type this, my son is playing on the family computer and I can hear his game in the background, since we are in the same room. It is all I can do to concentrate on typing and not be completely distracted and annoyed with the game's sound. I know that my complete annoyance with the music is irrational, so I am choosing not to act on that emotion.

Another thing that is slowly beginning to help is allowing the Spirit to pray for/through me as I go about my day. I did spend some alone time with the Lord this morning, and will do so again toady.

Thanks for letting me get that out.

"And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we'll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels. Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You'll need them throughout your life. God's Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out."

Ephesians 6:10-18 The Message Bible

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