My Ramblings

It's been a tough week personally. I took some time just before Easter looking at pics from last Easter when my sister and nephew were in town for a visit. We enjoyed Easter Service at church, the kids loved the Easter egg hunt. Then, we drove over to the hospital to visit mom. We took some pics of the three boys in their Easter clothes sitting on the bed with their grandma. She hated the idea of being photographed in the hospital. She always cared so much about how she looked and never thought she looked great, but we talked her into allowing the pics. I'm glad she did although looking at them now makes me sad. Little did we know that Easter Sunday, Resurrection Sunday, that just over two weeks later, mom would be gone. I miss you, mom.

She is forcing herself to eat today; two swallows of tomato soup and three minutes to rest before another bite. Talking is difficult and even oxygen aided breath is short. She is so weak and tired. The morphine helps with pain, but she still feels nauseated and can't sleep. How do people do this? How does a person gracefully watch his or her mother die? Seconds feel like hours; days feel like weeks. I know she is ready to be home with her Husband, Father, Savior, Best Friend. I know He is ready to see her. What is He waiting on? He doesn't have to wait any longer. I know He wants to see her, I know He is good, I know He has a grand plan. Why this lingering?

Our 4 year old recently shared some great wisdom with us and I thought I should pass it on. School has started this week and our oldest son began a new grade in a new school. That will be its own post. However, as my wife and I were trying to prepare him for his transition, we talked with him about what he wanted to wear. His response: "My skin." trying to avoid the question. Our 4-year-old responded, "You can't wear naked." We still laugh about his wise words. So, if you can't decide what you want to wear, just remember, You can't wear naked.

About two months ago, after much prodding by my wife, I went to have a physical, my first one in several years. Aside from the occasional cold and stress headache, I am perfectly fine. I am a little overweight, but I have been working on that. According to my tests, I have good blood pressure, good good cholestoral levels, good bad cholesterol levels, etc. The only bad thing, besides my weight, was a high liver reading; not very high, just a little high. The doctor wanted me to wait a month and retake the blood tests.  I retook the tests and the liver reading was still a little high. The doctor ordered a sonogram to check my liver and ran extensive blood work to begin ruling out possible causes. After all the tests and the visits to the doctor, it was discovered that I have some slight fatty infiltration on my liver, which accounts for the high blood count. If the fat gets worse, it could possibly lead to serious problems. In short, I need to lose weight. I did not feel sick...

I spent the last week with my family vacationing along the coast of North Carolina (go Heels!). It was a great vacation. I missed two Sundays at our church and had a lot of work to do before I left to make sure everything was in order. I accomplished almost everything I intended to, and the stuff I didn't accomplish, I just left. Normally, when I go on vacation, it takes at least two days to switch from work mode to vacation mode, longer if things are left undone. I vacate for a couple of days and then I start thinking about work again. It was not that way this year. I worked late on Friday, but once work was done, it was done. I was able to let work go and not think about it again for over a week. I have no explanation for this victory, except that God was helping me. I thank God for that help, and all his mercy, love, grace, etc. God helped in another way as well. Many of you are aware of my former struggle with lust and addiction to pornography. The beac...

Wednesday was an interesting day for me. I have a monthly meeting with a few other senior/lead pastors for prayer and mutual accountability. This past Wednesday was our third meeting. Our times together have been helpful and encouraging and God has blessed our praying for one another. I joined this group especially for my need for and conviction about personal accountability in the lives of Christians. I won't speak of what is going on with the other guys in the group, but I will mention what's going on with me. Our times of sharing personal struggles, etc. for prayer have been good, but not great. We have only met two other times, but we are still only sharing surface-level struggles, things that won't be too bad of a reflection on us. This level of sharing is expected, but not really helpful.  Over the last couple of weeks, I feel like the Lord has been speaking to me about taking the next step toward vulnerability with the group. As we went around the group sharing...

What is it with today's business world? My wife and I were commenting today on a situation we faced. She and I had a conference call scheduled for today with a company we are hiring to revamp our church's website. Now, four hours after the time for the call, we still can not reach the company or the rep that we were to speak with. Granted, there may be a good reason for the missed meeting and I have been praying for the rep, in case something is wrong. On the other hand, this has become normal protocol for several of the businesses I have tried to work with here in Maryland. We have gone so far as to get referrals and check references only to sign a contract with a company and have them fail to follow through on their work. This has happened on several occasions. My wife is also a teacher and recounted for me the message she gives to students regarding the importance of punctuality. "When you get in the work world, being late will not be tolerated." Ap...